Jason Segel (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} segels) wrote,@ 2010-08-05 00:31:00 |
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journal 1
You know what I absolutely love? I love that my Bulls have pulled it together this season and have made it into playoffs this season. I've grown up a huge Bulls fan and not seeing them win a title since '98 has killed me. It's been 13 years. I was TEN when they won their last championship and that is completely unacceptable. BUT this is a year of change. This year we're in the playoffs and we've been kicking some Hawks ass and we're about to do the same to the Heat. And I love that the Lakers totally blew it to early in the postseason. Embarrassing for them, but hilarious to anyone who isn't a Lakers fan.
Anyway, other things I've been loving lately:
- chocolate chip banana pancakes from Bongo Room
- the parrot smoothie from Little Branch Cafe
- this amazing, sunny, warm, beautiful weather
- summer drink specials at all my favorite bars
- getting ready for a much needed little vacation to Disneyland with Felix!
What do you love right now?
Private
Felix asked me to go to Disneyland with him this weekend and I'm super pumped about it. Except for the fact that it probably costs more than our house and I feel completely irresponsible leaving the younger ones here with his mom. His mom is awesome, but the only Davis she's ever spent a significant amount of time with is me, and to be honest, the other Davis kids are a little out of control. Not to mention the fact that there's so much stuff to do this weekend. School will be getting out in the next couple weeks and I need to be preparing for parent/teacher conferences and setting up some sort of summer activities for them so they aren't out stealing cars and lighting the neighborhood on fire or something. UGH. Maybe this little vacation will help me be not so stressed?
I mean, I deserve a trip to Disneyland, right? I'm always taking care of everyone and making sure everyone is okay and really shouldn't it be my turn to let someone take care of me and make sure that I'm okay? Fuck I don't know. I'm overly exhausted and this isn't making sense.
journal 2 - emmy rossum
I'm not normally one to toot my own horn, except I am though, but if you you haven't been watching Shameless this season then I'm pretty sure I don't even want to be your friend anymore. I can't even explain in real words how proud I am to be part of this cast. Every single one of the people I work with are complete geniuses - and that includes little Emma Kenney and Ethan Kutcosky. They're only like 9 and 11 years old and they're better actors than people who have been in this industry for upwards of 20 years - aka Me.
In all seriousness though, it's been awhile since I've had so much fun on set with people. I've been really lucky in that this summer I worked with amazing people got to go to travel to Chicago to film on location.
Along with work I’ve also been training my dog, Lola, how to circus dance. She’s doing pretty good so far. I might quit acting and become a dog trainer. Seriously. I’m like a freaking dog whisperer. For example, my parents’ dog has been having a lot of accidents on the floor lately. I came over last week and was like, listen up, Trudy. You need to stop shitting all over Dad’s office or you’re going to end up homeless and no one’s going to take you in because let’s be honest, you’re past your prime and you haven’t had a good hair day in years. Tighten it up, lady. And you know what? She listened. Sometimes you just gotta tell it how it is.
My friend got me involved with a little game called Resident Evil: Afterlife and for the last few weeks I’ve been completely in love with it. RE:A is the first thing I think about in the morning when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night. I just love it so much. Killing zombies could also be a potential career for me. The game has me thinking about what I’d do if a real zombie apocalypse actually happened. Let me let you in on my plan: first I’d get a baseball bat and attach some nails to it. I’ve got a mean swing, y’all. Then I’d get a car, load up the trunk with a bunch of gas cans and drive, drive, drive until I can find a safe place. Like, I don’t know? Maybe somewhere in Washington.
scene 1
here: I play Taylor.
scene 2
AND below. I play Tyler.
Shit. Shit. Fuck. God damn it. My fucking penis! Itching! Burning sensations! Fuuuuuuuck. All of this was plaguing Tyler all day because of the fucking itching going on below the belt. He did a little googling after the football games and figured he probably had some kind of crabs, or "pubic lice". The websites all said that people get crabs from sexual encounters and the only sexual encounters he had had in awhile were with a couple dirty Deltas. While the sex was fun, this itching and burning was not on Tyler's fun list. The itching and burning of his testicular region would definitely be on the no thanks list, but he didn't have a choice in the matter. He was vocally cursing the Deltas, not knowing which of them actually gave him the crabs. He got in his car and went down Greek Row to the Gamma's house and honked the horn for Ariel, scratching his balls the whole time since that was the only way he got any relief from this bullshit. "What's up. Wanna give me a hand here?" he asked with a wink and continued scratching. Hopefully the doctor at the clinic would be able to give him some shampoo or some cream and this would be taken care of in a snap and not many people would find out about it.
--
The fact that Tyler thought he had crabs was pretty hilarious to Ariel. While she really felt for the poor boy, he was probably right. Tyler would be the one to find a way to pick the girl with the pubic lice. For some odd and unknown reason, Tyler had compelled Ariel into going to a 24 hour free clinic with him at midnight. All so he could get some God damn shampoo for his balls. Ariel and Tyler had developed a weird relationship. It started out as sleeping together, and then kind of actually but not officially dating, and then it just kind of stopped, and now they were basically best friends. Tyler was a much better friend than many people gave him credit for. He was funny and kind and he actually cared about Ariel even though she was done sleeping with him. He honked once he got to the GAG house and Ariel headed outside and got into the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt and scrunching up her face at the first thing he said to her. "Ew, I might vomit." She rolled her eyes, crossing her left leg over her right and angling herself slightly towards her door. "I feel dirty just sitting in this car right now. What if this is the scene of the crime, Morris? You may need a new car." She half-joked. She was kind of serious though. The clinic wasn't that far off campus, but the entire ride Tyler spent the time with one hand on the wheel and one in his pants. "You don't know how lucky you are that I am so over you." She commented, shaking her head as Tyler pulled into a space.
--
"I'll have you know that I am no longer a high school jock. I'm far past sleeping with people in my car. And even if this was the scene of the crime, we'd have done it in the backseat where it's roomier. Jesus, give me so credit," he told her. Ariel was always giving him flack, but that was just how Ariel's clock ticked. She gave people shit, but she never actually meant it in a way to bring them down. He continued driving while scratching and California rolled through each and every stop sign, taking all of the shortcuts he knew. "You're over me?" he frowned. "But, like, Ariel. I thought we were like, soulmates. Destined to be together forever. I showed you my special spot!" he joked. "But seriously, a dude's got needs. I'm sure Heather and/or Melissa are wonderful girls and they're probably cool and everything, but for fucks sake. They need to clean their fucking vaginas because this shit is ridiculous." He had to stop at a red light and both hands were now in full scratching mode. "I bet you've never felt anything this torturous. I feel like... well, I feel like I got this really bad itch, and none of the scratching in the world will cure it."
--
Ariel laughed as she shook her head pathetically. "Don't you have to like, call them and tell them you have this so they can get the treatment too?" She asked, deciding to skip over the topic where they talked about how they used to fuck. Ariel glanced at Tyler at the wrong second, because she was now using both hands to aid his problem and she turned her head the other way and shook it again, resting her forehead in her palm. "Yeah, I can imagine. It hurts. Why did I come here again? I'm going to need you to do me a favor and never let me give you drunken head because I think you have officially turned me off for life." She requested, only because drunken head would be something Ariel would give and she guessed sex jokes and sex and the topic of it was all part of their friendship. They got to the clinic and Ariel followed Tyler in, careful not to touch anywhere on the door her may have touched. She bumped his arm with her elbow so he'd go to the desk and sign in. He got up to the desk and the lady pointed to a clipboard that was on the counter and Tyler reached for the pen but Ariel got there first. "I think you might want me to do that for you." She commented with fake sincerity, grabbing the pen before he could put his germy hands all over it. "This kid has crabs. I tried to tell him to get to know his partners better before jumping into bed with them, but some people just don't listen. Some people really just are too immature to be having sexual intercourse!" Ariel played the secretary, who nodded profusely with everything she had said. They finished up there and headed into the waiting area. "One for me, zero for you."
--
After they got into the clinic and Ariel took the clipboard from him and told the secretary his, uhm, problem, Tyler felt ashamed and a little bit embarrassed. Instead of playing the sob story, he decided to turn Ariel around on her sarcastic ass. "Actually, we're really here because she's signing up for her preliminary check-up for her abortion that's scheduled on Tuesday morning. Yeah, talk about not knowing your partners beforehand!" Tyler cupped a hand around his mouth, lowered his voice, and leaned in toward the secretary. "It's an interracial thing, too. Her parents are furious and threatening to cut her off if she doesn't get it "taken care of"," he told her. The secretary looked back at him horror-stricken. Tyler patted Ariel's shoulder and led her to a couple chairs. "Sorry," he laughed after he sat down. "That isn't my birthday. What the fuck. You don't know any of this information. You can't just lie on my forms, Ariel," he said and took the clipboard away from her. He didn't give two shits if his crabs spread to the entire town. He just wanted the itching and burning to go away. "Thanks for coming with me, by the way."
journal 1
You know what I absolutely love? I love that my Bulls have pulled it together this season and have made it into playoffs this season. I've grown up a huge Bulls fan and not seeing them win a title since '98 has killed me. It's been 13 years. I was TEN when they won their last championship and that is completely unacceptable. BUT this is a year of change. This year we're in the playoffs and we've been kicking some Hawks ass and we're about to do the same to the Heat. And I love that the Lakers totally blew it to early in the postseason. Embarrassing for them, but hilarious to anyone who isn't a Lakers fan.
Anyway, other things I've been loving lately:
- chocolate chip banana pancakes from Bongo Room
- the parrot smoothie from Little Branch Cafe
- this amazing, sunny, warm, beautiful weather
- summer drink specials at all my favorite bars
- getting ready for a much needed little vacation to Disneyland with Felix!
What do you love right now?
Private
Felix asked me to go to Disneyland with him this weekend and I'm super pumped about it. Except for the fact that it probably costs more than our house and I feel completely irresponsible leaving the younger ones here with his mom. His mom is awesome, but the only Davis she's ever spent a significant amount of time with is me, and to be honest, the other Davis kids are a little out of control. Not to mention the fact that there's so much stuff to do this weekend. School will be getting out in the next couple weeks and I need to be preparing for parent/teacher conferences and setting up some sort of summer activities for them so they aren't out stealing cars and lighting the neighborhood on fire or something. UGH. Maybe this little vacation will help me be not so stressed?
I mean, I deserve a trip to Disneyland, right? I'm always taking care of everyone and making sure everyone is okay and really shouldn't it be my turn to let someone take care of me and make sure that I'm okay? Fuck I don't know. I'm overly exhausted and this isn't making sense.
journal 2 - emmy rossum
I'm not normally one to toot my own horn, except I am though, but if you you haven't been watching Shameless this season then I'm pretty sure I don't even want to be your friend anymore. I can't even explain in real words how proud I am to be part of this cast. Every single one of the people I work with are complete geniuses - and that includes little Emma Kenney and Ethan Kutcosky. They're only like 9 and 11 years old and they're better actors than people who have been in this industry for upwards of 20 years - aka Me.
In all seriousness though, it's been awhile since I've had so much fun on set with people. I've been really lucky in that this summer I worked with amazing people got to go to travel to Chicago to film on location.
Along with work I’ve also been training my dog, Lola, how to circus dance. She’s doing pretty good so far. I might quit acting and become a dog trainer. Seriously. I’m like a freaking dog whisperer. For example, my parents’ dog has been having a lot of accidents on the floor lately. I came over last week and was like, listen up, Trudy. You need to stop shitting all over Dad’s office or you’re going to end up homeless and no one’s going to take you in because let’s be honest, you’re past your prime and you haven’t had a good hair day in years. Tighten it up, lady. And you know what? She listened. Sometimes you just gotta tell it how it is.
My friend got me involved with a little game called Resident Evil: Afterlife and for the last few weeks I’ve been completely in love with it. RE:A is the first thing I think about in the morning when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep at night. I just love it so much. Killing zombies could also be a potential career for me. The game has me thinking about what I’d do if a real zombie apocalypse actually happened. Let me let you in on my plan: first I’d get a baseball bat and attach some nails to it. I’ve got a mean swing, y’all. Then I’d get a car, load up the trunk with a bunch of gas cans and drive, drive, drive until I can find a safe place. Like, I don’t know? Maybe somewhere in Washington.
scene 1
here: I play Taylor.
scene 2
AND below. I play Tyler.
Shit. Shit. Fuck. God damn it. My fucking penis! Itching! Burning sensations! Fuuuuuuuck. All of this was plaguing Tyler all day because of the fucking itching going on below the belt. He did a little googling after the football games and figured he probably had some kind of crabs, or "pubic lice". The websites all said that people get crabs from sexual encounters and the only sexual encounters he had had in awhile were with a couple dirty Deltas. While the sex was fun, this itching and burning was not on Tyler's fun list. The itching and burning of his testicular region would definitely be on the no thanks list, but he didn't have a choice in the matter. He was vocally cursing the Deltas, not knowing which of them actually gave him the crabs. He got in his car and went down Greek Row to the Gamma's house and honked the horn for Ariel, scratching his balls the whole time since that was the only way he got any relief from this bullshit. "What's up. Wanna give me a hand here?" he asked with a wink and continued scratching. Hopefully the doctor at the clinic would be able to give him some shampoo or some cream and this would be taken care of in a snap and not many people would find out about it.
--
The fact that Tyler thought he had crabs was pretty hilarious to Ariel. While she really felt for the poor boy, he was probably right. Tyler would be the one to find a way to pick the girl with the pubic lice. For some odd and unknown reason, Tyler had compelled Ariel into going to a 24 hour free clinic with him at midnight. All so he could get some God damn shampoo for his balls. Ariel and Tyler had developed a weird relationship. It started out as sleeping together, and then kind of actually but not officially dating, and then it just kind of stopped, and now they were basically best friends. Tyler was a much better friend than many people gave him credit for. He was funny and kind and he actually cared about Ariel even though she was done sleeping with him. He honked once he got to the GAG house and Ariel headed outside and got into the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt and scrunching up her face at the first thing he said to her. "Ew, I might vomit." She rolled her eyes, crossing her left leg over her right and angling herself slightly towards her door. "I feel dirty just sitting in this car right now. What if this is the scene of the crime, Morris? You may need a new car." She half-joked. She was kind of serious though. The clinic wasn't that far off campus, but the entire ride Tyler spent the time with one hand on the wheel and one in his pants. "You don't know how lucky you are that I am so over you." She commented, shaking her head as Tyler pulled into a space.
--
"I'll have you know that I am no longer a high school jock. I'm far past sleeping with people in my car. And even if this was the scene of the crime, we'd have done it in the backseat where it's roomier. Jesus, give me so credit," he told her. Ariel was always giving him flack, but that was just how Ariel's clock ticked. She gave people shit, but she never actually meant it in a way to bring them down. He continued driving while scratching and California rolled through each and every stop sign, taking all of the shortcuts he knew. "You're over me?" he frowned. "But, like, Ariel. I thought we were like, soulmates. Destined to be together forever. I showed you my special spot!" he joked. "But seriously, a dude's got needs. I'm sure Heather and/or Melissa are wonderful girls and they're probably cool and everything, but for fucks sake. They need to clean their fucking vaginas because this shit is ridiculous." He had to stop at a red light and both hands were now in full scratching mode. "I bet you've never felt anything this torturous. I feel like... well, I feel like I got this really bad itch, and none of the scratching in the world will cure it."
--
Ariel laughed as she shook her head pathetically. "Don't you have to like, call them and tell them you have this so they can get the treatment too?" She asked, deciding to skip over the topic where they talked about how they used to fuck. Ariel glanced at Tyler at the wrong second, because she was now using both hands to aid his problem and she turned her head the other way and shook it again, resting her forehead in her palm. "Yeah, I can imagine. It hurts. Why did I come here again? I'm going to need you to do me a favor and never let me give you drunken head because I think you have officially turned me off for life." She requested, only because drunken head would be something Ariel would give and she guessed sex jokes and sex and the topic of it was all part of their friendship. They got to the clinic and Ariel followed Tyler in, careful not to touch anywhere on the door her may have touched. She bumped his arm with her elbow so he'd go to the desk and sign in. He got up to the desk and the lady pointed to a clipboard that was on the counter and Tyler reached for the pen but Ariel got there first. "I think you might want me to do that for you." She commented with fake sincerity, grabbing the pen before he could put his germy hands all over it. "This kid has crabs. I tried to tell him to get to know his partners better before jumping into bed with them, but some people just don't listen. Some people really just are too immature to be having sexual intercourse!" Ariel played the secretary, who nodded profusely with everything she had said. They finished up there and headed into the waiting area. "One for me, zero for you."
--
After they got into the clinic and Ariel took the clipboard from him and told the secretary his, uhm, problem, Tyler felt ashamed and a little bit embarrassed. Instead of playing the sob story, he decided to turn Ariel around on her sarcastic ass. "Actually, we're really here because she's signing up for her preliminary check-up for her abortion that's scheduled on Tuesday morning. Yeah, talk about not knowing your partners beforehand!" Tyler cupped a hand around his mouth, lowered his voice, and leaned in toward the secretary. "It's an interracial thing, too. Her parents are furious and threatening to cut her off if she doesn't get it "taken care of"," he told her. The secretary looked back at him horror-stricken. Tyler patted Ariel's shoulder and led her to a couple chairs. "Sorry," he laughed after he sat down. "That isn't my birthday. What the fuck. You don't know any of this information. You can't just lie on my forms, Ariel," he said and took the clipboard away from her. He didn't give two shits if his crabs spread to the entire town. He just wanted the itching and burning to go away. "Thanks for coming with me, by the way."